Growing Concerned

I am becoming concerned that my campaign to be named People Magazine’s Sexist Man Alive is not gaining the necessary traction. It’s almost like I just wrote it in a blog and it didn’t go anywhere from there.

Therefore, in order to make sure more people are aware that I am a candidate for the honor, I am going to begin to preface my conversations and e-mails with the fact that I am potentially the next People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.

I hope that’ll do the trick. I don’t want to have to work too hard for this. After all, us sexy people are supposed to take it easy.

Numb3rs Starting To Get On My Nerves

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting pretty annoyed by Numb3rs. It seems like every criminal case can be solved by having a mathematical genius on staff. I’d like to have one episode where Charlie doesn’t butt in and offer to solve the case by using a technique that approximates where the drops of a sprinkler will fall so they can match the bomb residue pattern and find the mad bomber right before he sets off a bomb that will kill Charlie and the other guy’s father.

I’d like to have an episode where Charlie hears about the case and says “Wow. That’s a real dome scratcher. I can’t offer any help whatsoever. You guys should do whatever that Columbo guy does to solve cases.” And then spends the rest of the episode unable to balance his checkbook.