I am sorry to report, but all my teachers are wrong. Teachers always like to tell us that there are no dumb questions. However, Parade Magazine has shown that there are dumb questions and they’re most likely asked by dumb people.
Parade Magazine is published on Sundays and distributed with many local newspapers. They provide a Q&A page so that Hollywood publicists can confirm their clients are still alive (though lord knows what their clients have been doing between starring in “Facts of Life” and publishing a book of poems about anger) and it is intended to be read while going to the bathroom.
Today’s Parade Magazine featured the following question: “Why does George Clooney date women half his age, like Sarah Larson?” I don’t even have to give you the answer. All I can confirm is that (a) Edward Koziol from Aynor, SC is a dumbass and (b) I’m pretty sure that Ed needs to give a different answer when his wife asks him if she looks fat in those pants.
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I am in the unique position of having hair that has been appraised at a value exceeding One Million Dollars for well over twenty years. Because of my consistent impressive hair valuations, I felt that I would share my innermost thoughts and dreams for those who aspire to be more like me.
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