The Signs Are All There

I believe people who know my wife and I would say that we make a good couple. They could point to the fact that we get along well, have similar temperaments, and seem to complement each other. And they would be wrong.

My wife and I are a horrible match and our relationship is doomed to a colossal failure. We lack the one basic ingredient every successful couple has: a name that the paparazzi can join together and refer to us as one entity.

They're not going to call us "Koshua." Let's not even entertain "Jelly." Same problems with "Kelosh" or "Keloshua" or "Joshly" or "Jolly."

Sorry to say, we’re doomed. I hope we can keep it together until the kids go off to college.

Other Quotes That Didn't Make The Holiday Letter

Some more quotes that just didn’t make the cut for our Holiday Letter…

· The boy: I have a great idea.

The girl: Is turning off the light your great idea?

The boy: Yes.

The girl: It’s not a great idea.

(Didn’t want to show the girl as being too cynical with her brother. Unfortunately, as I recall it wasn’t such a great idea.)

· The boy: There is something wrong with this blanket. It doesn’t work.

(I paid good money for that blanket.)

· The girl: Julia (the doll) was sneezing last night.

The wife: Did she catch your cold?

The girl: No. I still have it.

(Don’t want to let anybody think that she doesn’t have a future in medicine ahead of her.)

· The boy: (After I asked him what a little girl was saying to him...) I have no idea.

(Too much of an explanation. When he was 3, I took him to Hooters to spite the wife. The food took forever so I let him check out different things around the restaurant. While checking out the jukebox, a little girl came up to him and talked to him for 2 or 3 minutes. He nodded and seemed to follow the conversation. When he returned and answered, I knew that he had the essence of dating down.)

· The wife: It’s just nice that we can sit and get our stuff done and just talk.

The girl: We can always talk…except when the vacuum cleaner is on.

(We had to leave it out after being threatened by the vacuum industry lobby.)

Deep Thoughts About A Side Job With Satan

I’ve got Reaper on the Tivo. It brings up so many questions.

Is Sam the son of the devil? What is up with his parents? Should he be so friendly with those demons? Is my DMV office populated by demons? Was that girl the devil’s daughter? Can Sam ever have a long term relationship with Andi? What if Sam wants to go on a vacation to someplace like Cancun or Disney World, does he need to clear it with the Devil first? And most importantly, with him being zipped all over the place by the devil, what does his time card look like?

Bigger Than A Bigfoot Sighting...Hair Raising Too

I finally sat down this past weekend to try to organize our family photos. We haven't kept photo albums since before we met in college and we haven't done too much to get them started since then either.

After several hours of organizing and thumbing through photos, I did confirm what has only been a legend up to this point. My hair has not always been valued at one million dollars.