Saturday, October 25, 2008
My wife and I are a horrible match and our relationship is doomed to a colossal failure. We lack the one basic ingredient every successful couple has: a name that the paparazzi can join together and refer to us as one entity.
They're not going to call us "Koshua." Let's not even entertain "Jelly." Same problems with "Kelosh" or "Keloshua" or "Joshly" or "Jolly."
Sorry to say, we’re doomed. I hope we can keep it together until the kids go off to college.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Some more quotes that just didn’t make the cut for our
· The boy: I have a great idea.
The girl: Is turning off the light your great idea?
The boy: Yes.
The girl: It’s not a great idea.
(Didn’t want to show the girl as being too cynical with her brother. Unfortunately, as I recall it wasn’t such a great idea.)
· The boy: There is something wrong with this blanket. It doesn’t work.
(I paid good money for that blanket.)
· The girl: Julia (the doll) was sneezing last night.
The wife: Did she catch your cold?
The girl: No. I still have it.
(Don’t want to let anybody think that she doesn’t have a future in medicine ahead of her.)
· The boy: (After I asked him what a little girl was saying to him...) I have no idea.
(Too much of an explanation. When he was 3, I took him to Hooters to spite the wife. The food took forever so I let him check out different things around the restaurant. While checking out the jukebox, a little girl came up to him and talked to him for 2 or 3 minutes. He nodded and seemed to follow the conversation. When he returned and answered, I knew that he had the essence of dating down.)
· The wife: It’s just nice that we can sit and get our stuff done and just talk.
The girl: We can always talk…except when the vacuum cleaner is on.
(We had to leave it out after being threatened by the vacuum industry lobby.)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Is Sam the son of the devil? What is up with his parents? Should he be so friendly with those demons? Is my DMV office populated by demons? Was that girl the devil’s daughter? Can Sam ever have a long term relationship with Andi? What if Sam wants to go on a vacation to someplace like Cancun or Disney World, does he need to clear it with the Devil first? And most importantly, with him being zipped all over the place by the devil, what does his time card look like?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
After several hours of organizing and thumbing through photos, I did confirm what has only been a legend up to this point. My hair has not always been valued at one million dollars.